I WANT TO CONQUER THE WORLD Hey brother Christian with your high and mighty errand, Your actions speak so loud I can't hear a word you're saying Hey sister bleeding heart with all of your compassion, Your labors soothe the hurt but can't assuage temptation Hey man of science with your perfect rules of measure, Can you improve this place with the data that you gather Hey mother mercy can your loins bear fruit forever? Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure? I want to conquer the world, Give all the idiots a brand new religion, Put an end to poverty uncleanliness And toll promote equality in all of my decisions With a quick wink of the eye And a "god you must be joking" Hey mister diplomat with your worldly aspirations, Did you see the children cry When you left them at the station? Hey moral soldier you've got righteous proclamation And precious tomes to fuel your pulpy conflagrations I want to conquer the world, Expose the culprits and feed them to the children, Do away with air pollution, and then I'll save the whales, We'll have peace on earth And global communion . . .